Jul 23
No more Doubts!
And just when i thought nothing more could go wrong, it did!
The guy sitting next to me turned his head towards me… and vomited… all over me. It was not a polite little barf… oh no… His puke had range and force… He splattered me… All over my entire right side, from my face onto the only expensive good silk kurta I possessed!
They stopped the truck and were yelling at this guy and at this point I did something that amazed me (in retrospect). I was concerned about how this guy was feeling. First, I emptied a small pack of essential salts I usually carry around with me into a bottle of water and made sure this guy drank it and started feeling good.
Only then did I make any attempt to even clean myself…
Soon we were all back in the truck. They had cleaned it out and thankfully shut the music… We reached the city, I got off. Thanked them and made my way to Gyan Mandir, let myself in (we used to keep the keys under one of the flower pots)… Had a long, long hot and cold water bath… Really scrubbed myself 
Went to the hall to check up on my tape. Sure enough it was right there under Guruji’s photo. Felt incredibly good about seeing it and then went and had a good sound sleep.
The next morning, finished my Sadhana, gave the kurta for dry cleaning, and made my way back to the Ashram. On the way I started to think about how I had behaved the night before and just felt very nice about myself. Things had gone horribly wrong as far as I was concerned, yet when someone was sick, I could naturally and effortlessly think about that person and not myself, even though I didn’t even know that person at all. The Knowledge was alive in me and effortlessly expressing itself through me.
I had not known it, but all the time I thought I had hit a plateau, there were profound changes happening within me, making me a better, stronger human being. And the best part was that this was happening all by itself! Even without me knowing about it…
The twinkle in my eyes was back.
I reached the Ashram and barely had I entered the gate, that someone tells me where were you?! Guruji has been asking for you… Go straight to His kutir. Excitedly I started going there, when three more people at different points told me the same thing … go go go, He is calling you!
I ran to Him and went into the kutir. As I was bowing down, He says to me gently and softly, almost with pride in His voice, So now you know that you are growing and moving on the path. Right?
I had not talked about my nighttime adventures with anyone at all. Yet, He knew.
He had engineered the whole episode. I learned that I was learning, even when I thought or felt that I was not. That I was being taken care of. That Guruji cared for me so deeply.
I also learned that troubles that come may be His gifts to us, and that they may seem terrible while they are there, but when tackled with Knowledge and Love, leave quite quickly, never really touching us… Moving us into realms of possibility that otherwise would never have existed for us.
Making us blossom and sparkle with Life.
Jai Gurudeva!
love
bawa
(21 votes, average: 4.95 out of 5)
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Oh wooww !
This was so Beautiful !
And what you did was really wonderful !
Love you
Jai Gurudeva.
AWESOME!i am zapped
more experiences plzzz:)
Bawa, i just love your blog.Everything about it, your writing style,suspense building, ending so beautifully with knowledge and Guruji’s garce, Monica’s looooooooong stories,varun’s comments, just everything.
Hi Renu,
Thanks for acknowledging that you like my comments
Anyway, Monica writes even loooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnggger stuff actually
Jai Gurudev!
Looks like I’m famous for no “short”age of reasons!
Hope you guys like the stories, that’s the long and short of it.
Dear Bawa,
Now i understand the real meaning of growth with respect to spirituality.
After reading this episode of urs i will handle my realtives and parents(::(() in a better manner.:))) (Of course fighting will be there(:)))
After all i know that i am taken care of by HIM!!!
By the way it was very lovely post
Love u bawa
Sudha.P
JGD
thanks bau, beautiful post..
Woooooow!!!!!!!!!! so true Bawa….problems do come but with GURUJI and HIS knowledge with us everything goes well……thx 4 sharing your experience….
love
jgd
Oh man, Bau its so tough choosing which of your posts are better. This one was terrific! gave me goosebumps!
Rock on!
it is d most awaiting post 4 m4 cus me to think like u..but now i m doubting over my doubts… thank u Bau 4 such a amazing post….lov u ..jgd…
Last para was really amazing bau..
“I also learned that troubles that come may be His gifts to us, and that they may seem terrible while they are there, but when tackled with Knowledge and Love, leave quite quickly, never really touching us… Moving us into realms of possibility that otherwise would never have existed for us.”
Seems that u really wanted to convey did thin to us..
Jai Guru Dev
I feel the same Bau…..I have been doing sadhna regularly for the past 54 days, since the May YES++………I feel im transforming……and can sense that Guruji is taking care of me.
I just have to do Sadhna, Satsang n Seva
Jai Ho Guru G !
:)
Dear BawaJi, LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY You
but then I strongly suspect all of US are
Shambho !
Well said avish…….we all are very lucky that we decided to have faith in AOL and thus are showered with Guruji’s blessing.
Jai Guru Dev
Wow! Finally the suspense ends. This was too goood.
Very touchy!
Dear Bawa,
Thanks for the nice post, it was a great learning.
I can connect with this episode Bau…. Life has become much more beautiful after living with wisdom…. Jai Gurudeva
thank you Bawa and Dinesh Da !!!
SUPERB! Finally we got to know the entire story!
Guruji is so great..how he manages to know things?!?!
thanx Bau for sharing this. For me this was the need of the hour. A Reinforcement
Luv,
Vivek
Seriously,cud have nvr imagined k aisa hoga….
How Sweet 
So Guruji set the whole thing up to make u realise k u r growin..
Jai Gurudev
well said.
You wrote “I also learned that troubles that come may be His gifts to us”. What a coincidence! Today I was reading the Cosmic Link (Economic Times, Bangalore) and it says the same thing. Guru is like the doctor who does the surgery which might be painful but it is for your good. So when you are on The Path, the pain you experience is also Guru’s blessing.
simply wah!
A true example of one;s true nature effortlessly coming out when he/she is on teh path!
Just what I needed to know! It’s a relief to know that you went through a similar thing on the Path
Jai Guru Dev!
Beautiful
Dear Bau,
Jai Gurudeva
Its an excellent post!! Just made us aware of how safe and blessed we all are in HIS knowledge. How GURUJI makes us strong yet gentle, intelligent yet innocent with HIS blessings and teachings.
Truly amazing post!!
bau u said it so beautifully…experiences only makes us deeper and blossom out more, rite bau?
i feel u wrote dis story just for me…. all dis while i was like i hav heard dis story before…but today the part which u wrote about the learning u had…dat knowledge was JUST FOR ME …
Suppppeerrrr!!!
Jai Gurudev!
Vishal
Jai Gurudeva Bau,
it’s an ultimate experience.And it removed many of my doubts.
NICE!!!
Jai Gurudeva!!
Incredible
Strange but beautiful are His ways!.. 
Thats so wonderful. There comes a time in life where we think that we have come to a stand still, we arent moving ahead. And when we realise hoe unknowingly the life is teaching us so many things its just wonderful.
Jai Gurudev!
its very Wonderful, Bawa. Jaigurudev.
Oh and i forgot to mention i just loved the new layout. The pics are great!
Jai Gurudev Bau,
Thanks for this wonderful post.
Truly amazing experience with a beautiful moral, and very well written.
JGD.
WOW! so beautiful
Jai Gurudev!
Why do people get attached to the form so much? we are supposed to adore the form.. but seek the formless.. thats what the vedas and the upanishads say… “Madatma sarva bhutaatma” when the self is a miniature universe, and people get attached to the physical forms? thats what most of the people in art of living also do… they get attached to the form of guruji more than the formless…!
Better to get attached to Guruji, than to other things huh?
When its time for you to get unattached to Him, He will make that happen too…
Meanwhile dont worry about it
worry if you are attached to other things
got it ?
AWESOME..!!!:)
Jai Gurudev..!!
Bawa – The posts were simply superb (Thanks for completing in 3 posts)
Deeply moved… A big THANK YOU to you for sharing it with us… Truly…an inspiration…. reinforces our commitment on this path.. What we’d do without HIM in our lives…I dare not think.Take care, Bawa,and jgd!
Love,
Sudha
Beautiful post Bau, WE are soo lucky to have a Guru like HIM:)
JaiGuruDev.
Bau tusi great ho, kamal ho,
WHAT A STORY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIMPLE AND AMAZING AS YOU ARE.
log apke fan se AC ban rahe hai.
Jai Bavu
Nice experience Bawu.. I have my share of ones, still my heart craves to have one such in person with Guruji
Thanks Bau…
Good sharing and great lesson for us too…
Lovely Bau…
No one can say it better than u.
Loved the last para. So true!
Dear Bawaji…..Very nice post. You are so lucky. It is inspiring also. Now i have full faith that “we will be taken care” I am so grateful, happy and feeling blessed that i am back again with gratitude and lots of love for him. I am very thank ful to you too. Jai gurudev!
the best i’ve read so far
thanks bau:)
absolutely beautiful!!! n the best part- all these r GURUJI’s gifts to us… if handled with lov n knowledge…!!
wow!!!!
thankyou sooo much!!!!!:)
lots of love:)
JAIGURUDEV
Thank you! so much for sharing such a precious memory.
every AOL family member shud read this post n spread the LOVE.Miracle of the millenium.kk concludes. JGD
Wonderful Bau!!… heard this one before.. but its yet so interesting to read… loved it… please write more often…
No more doubts.. and no more suspense
Nice story Bawa. I think I have been in the same situation many times before. And now…
I wanted to write it to Guruji but I think I will write it here…”Guruji I love you!”….
I had been reading your blogs since long….and I have got the answers to my questions everytime. Feels like you write for me…or may be my mind calls for guruji’s angel who then write for me.
Just a few days back I had doubts in my mind too but everytime I hear of him my heart gets overwhelmed and I cry…right now I am at work and reading your post made me cry right there…I can’t believe I am crying in my office….goodness..no one’s seen me…again his grace!
I fight everyday with life not for me but for ppl around. Sometimes I feel I don’t have desires for myself, I have started taking others problem…which seems so much abnormal to ppl.. hehehhee…Well life for me has turned like that and I feel blessed!
From my heart thank you!
Awesome!Eagerly waiting for more…
Wow! Bawa,
It’s amazing how learning happens
I feel so fortunate to be on this path
thanks for the lovely knowledge bawa… Guruji always knows how to send me knowledge and through whom and what knowledge to send… its beautiful:-)
Sometimes I feel Jealous of you… (its not in my control). Does Guruji love me and care for me as much as he loves and cares for you? Can I ever get such love and care from him… ever? I am so rustic that I doubt myself if I even deserve his love and care… and then become very anxious and uneasy inside….
He reflects you
wow Bau. So nice….
i would prefer Guruji not to engineer stuff like this for me though :p
… i wouldn’t either … really
But somehow after the episode, you can’t help but thank Him for it and feel totally grateful and loved
Jai Gurudeva!
love
bawa
[...] response to the Doubt series of posts, it’s quite interesting to see how so many of you have written “you are [...]
Dear Bawa,
Went through ur mail felt very bad of myself for behaving foolishly with relatives and made a point to visit my uncle
But i was in for a surprise My relatives have not changed and they are still dead against AOL AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ok fine accept people as they are ,
opposite values are complimentary
U know normally i would be so dammed agitated or wild and yell (normally bark like a dog according to my relatives:))) yesterday i smiled from inside for I always know I AM TAKEN CARE BY HIM
Ur experience when i keep reading again and again I have tears in my eyes:)))
Tears of gratitude
How blessed are we to live with him sharing tis precious knowledge
Very very inspiring!
Thank you Bau for sharing with us..we don’t mind more of these
Really Nice:)
Do Keep writing. Helps me stay connected:)
With Love
Jai Gurudev,
Siddharth
“Tackled with Knowledge and Love” ! Wow thats a beautiful lesson for me to start using whenever I go berserk.
JGD
LOvely Bau
No words really to express how I am feeling!! I am so blessed:-)
Love. Jai Gurudev!
the words you have you used to narrate this incident are superb. This incident cannot be better explained by anybody else except you…
This one brought tears to my eyes..
@ bidisha: me too…
Bau, i cant help but feel the Pride rush through my blood to even have known and been able to speak to you ….short of words…Its sooo evident guruji takes care of everything….
jai guru dev!!!!
luv u bauuu!!!
all doubts gone!!
jgd!
Oh My God!
this is a very encouraging post.just recently i had been thinking that maybe a wont be as good a teacher as u because at times i have so many doubts on Guruji and i feel like giving up that moment.even i would feel that in the begining i had grown so much,but now i have become kind of constant.
but on reading this post i feel that if everyone goes thru this,then i need not feel bad about it!!thanks.:-))
wowwwwwwwww this amzing thing bawa, yesterday only my brain was full of doubts but reading this encouraging post .i got my answer . thnk u bawa
love u
janvi
Thanks dear Bau. i was in need of reading this. Feeling very good for U. Loads of love:)
Jai gurudev:)
Your brainwashed life and stories stink as much as the puke you got.
Don’t like it, don’t read it
U rock bawa…..i am Love every moment of life that it is taken care by guruji…..
Love u guruji…
Nice story!
I would have liked more if you have first shouted on that guy who vomited on you .. and later helped him. You behaved abnormally which makes me believe that you are still finding the way to live instead of living. You are trying to fight yourself instead of living yourself
super awesome post bau…i had goosebumps while reading it…oh sucha high prana post!!!:):):)
It was jst beautiful bhaiya
very nice post…Jai Gurudev!
Bau, your post reminded me of a couple of lines from Vaishnav Janato…
Par-dukhkhe upkaar kare toye
[Does good to others, esp. to those ones who are in misery]
Man abhimaan na aaNe re
[Does not let pride enter his mind]
I know you weren’t proud that you helped me, I know you were just feeling good about yourself but I just thought it was natural that you’d help him. You being you! I didn’t even doubt that you would lose your cool, I’m surprised that you’re surprised with yourself. I knew you’d help him so I was actually waiting for the climax. Your story was the set-up for me
While doing my kriya today, suddenly I remembered your blog and also got inspiration to share my own experience.
I know this is ‘your’ blog, but still will take the liberty to post the experience here, since the inspiration came during Kriya.
This must have happened some 6-7 years back. I was travelling from Rampurhat back to my home in Kokata, which is about 5 hours train ride. I was lucky to find a window seat as I had come early and made myself comfortable. 6 people could sit on 2 sets of seat facing each other. Seats around me were empty when I boarded the train.
There was still 15 minutes time for the train to depart and people were slowing filling up the bogey. Suddenly 2 police men with a prison inmate, in hand cuffs emerged out of now where and occupied seats around me.
I felt distinctly uncomfortable at the thought of sharing seats with a prisoner. I was squirming in my seat thinking how to get out of the situation, but most seats were occupied by now. Just before the departure many more people came in. People would rush to see an empty seat near us but would turn away when they saw a hand cuffed man sitting there. While in other seats 4 people sat on seats meant for three, two seats around us were left unoccupied.
I was observing the prisoner’s reaction. He was of course aware that people are avoiding sitting next to him, but was trying to show ‘couldn’t care less’ attitude.
Suddenly knowledge gained in part 1 and DSN came rushing to me. I thought maybe this person has not spoken to any one in months. I visualized myself in his place and thought how I would feel if I were in his place. I remembered how AOL is reforming the prisoners.
The train had pulled away from Rampurhat now. I put up a smile and started a conversation. Like most prisoners, he too thought that he was not guilty. He told me he was being taken to Burdawan for some illness. For next 3 hours or so he kept on talking, most of which I did not understand because of the noise of the train and also my limited vocab. Still I pretended to be listening to him. For the first time he was smiling now.
When Burdawan station came and it was time for him to go, I saw tears of gratitude in his eyes. He didn’t know if he should hug me or touch my feet. People around us looked fascinated and may have thought he is my friend or a relative.
Even after so many years I feel happy that I could bring smile and some hope to a soul who was in a difficult situation. I could do this only due to what I learnt in AOL.
I believe one does not have to go out of way to do seva. Life gives us ample opportunities in our day to day life, only if we have awareness and spirit of seva.
This is not to say we should not do seva in an organized manner in a group.
Jai Guru dev
What a nice story … ty v much for sharing
Jai Gurudeva!
love
bawa
Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!
just superb.. thanks bawaji..